It has been almost a year since my last blog. Astrology could explain this with transit Saturn conjunct my natal Moon in the 12th house, which is also conjunct my Ascendant. It was approaching from Dec 2014 & exact from Jan. 2015. Saturn's final separation is at the end of Oct 2015. Saturn is heavy lessons taught through hard work and patience, with just rewards at the conclusion. Passing through my 12th house it highlighted my Spirituality, isolation, self undoing and the unconscious mind and hit my Moon which symbolises my sub conscious, emotions, family, home, children, the past and my female Yin. A very private, internalising time for me. As it further separates it will be an exact conjunct to my Ascendant. Thereby, I believe, requiring me to utilise the emotional maturity I have now been rewarded with to face any physical and/or identity challenges that the Ascendant represents. All I can be sure of is that once this time has all passed, it will not be repeated for another 28 years. This being the Saturn cycle orbit.
I have feared, faced and finalised (Saturn) my acceptance of hidden self sabotages (12th House). Loneliness (12th House Moon) has been internalised to be recognised as my need for independence (Sagittarius Moon). I have fully accepted my Crone phase of life (Saturn) illustrated perfectly with my decision to finally grow out my waist length silver (Moon Goddess) hair which is a commitment of patience (Saturn). Coincidently it will be complete once Saturn leaves my Ascendant (physical appearance).
I have seriously (Saturn) confronted and am now more self aware about my mental health condition (12th house, Moon). I have PTSD, with significant Dissociation, Anxiety & Depression from many past traumas. I have learnt how to work within my condition's limits and accept this. I have also accepted that healing needs a strong commitment and patience (Saturn) as it will take a long time to reverse the neurotransmitter pathways that have been laid down over many decades of trauma. Also I have accepted that some memories (Moon) will never be recalled. Basically I have learnt to accept the reality (Saturn) of what is.
I have also reaffirmed my strong Spiritual faith. I know that it is the only thing that is sure to stay lovingly with me no matter what. God, my God, is always walking with me and guiding my journey.
I have had family (Moon) responsibilities that seemed very limiting (Saturn). My elderly Father(Saturn) required knee joint replacement (Saturn) surgery. So his hospitalisation and convalescence was a duty I of course willingly accepted. This included helping my elderly mother as well and even branched into some visits and care errands for two of my beloved elderly aunts. I also had a caring role for another family member, my cousin, which required him living with me (Moon) for most of the year. This has been very trying (Saturn) for me as I really treasure my personal space and privacy in my home (12th house Moon). Saturn also rules the teeth and at present I am helping him to finalise a long time dental problem that contributes to his ill health. Did I mention the Moon rules nurturing and the Mother role? Hence my caring responsibilities.
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